The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix

Patricia Campbell’s life has never felt smaller. Her husband is a workaholic, her teenage kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she’s always a step behind on her endless to-do list. The only thing keeping her sane is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime. Then James Harris walks into her life during the summer of 1993. He makes her feel things she hasn’t felt in years, but when children on the other side of town go missing, Patricia wonders if he’s connected. Is he a Brad Pitt, a Bundy, or something much worse?

~~~~~

This book was everything I wish it wasn’t. I did not have a great time reading this book. Did I finish it quickly? Yes. Was the horror pretty superb? Yes. Did I still hate literally everything else that this book portrayed? Also Yes. I was ready for a satire on suburban moms turning out to be badass and killing vampires that stalk their town. I didn’t expect the horror to be so gruesome, but I think that’s what ended up winning me over because it was so vivid and horrifying. But the horror was the ONLY part of this book I enjoyed. I’m actually shocked that a book written in 2020 could be as blatantly misogynistic and racist as it was. I see people defending it as “oh but that’s the point of it being satire” NO. This book went to unnecessary lengths to belittle Black people, Women, and Stay at Home Moms. It was offensive and enraging and I can’t believe I actually finished it. Read at your own risk.

Let’s start with the character relationships. Does this author understand women? Does he understand women friendships? Does not look like it. Every single relationship with other women that Patricia has in this book, even with her bookclub thats supposed to be “oh so close” the friendships are shallow and backstabbing. We’re supposed to love the characters yet at every turn they question and doubt each other. That’s not how female friendships are. If it was meant to be a bunch of suburban ladies who secretly hate each other than this book would have made a lot more sense in the way the women acted and treated each other.

You can tell with every single internal thought that Patricia has that this book was about a bunch of women written by a man. Unnecessarily long passages on their appearance and how unsavoury these women find themselves in the mirror. Believe it or not, women are allowed to like how they look, but not the women in this book! If they are a middle aged mom with grown kids they have no choice but to see themselves as dumpy and “flappy” (excuse me?!). Every mom in this group is a housewife. Housewives lead very busy lives supporting their entire family and their partners that work. In this entire book they are belittled constantly as people who stay at home all day so you can just dump on them constantly, yet in every internal thought Patricia is constantly thinking about cleaning and the things she has to clean. I’m pretty sure stay at home’s have more thoughts in their head than just “I need to vacuum the drapes”. I get that this is supposed to be satire but it was extremely offensive and unnecessary and seeing as this takes place in the 90s and NOT the 1950s it made ZERO sense how much garbage these women put up with from their husbands. They acted like property, not wives in equal marriages yet none of them, NONE OF THEM, even considered leaving their horrid husbands and given that all of them had money, educations, and support systems, it made no sense why they didn’t feel as if they could strike out on their own.

Now onto the worst offense of the book: the blatant racism and the white saviour complex. Why? Why is it “needed” in a book written in modern day? There are plenty of ways to expose inequalities in society without being so overtly racist and NOT CONFRONTING the racism that’s happening. If you’re writing a book in modern day that has racist themes, there is no reason for you not to confront it in your book. Don’t just brush over it like "that’s how things were at the time” because no, this book was written in 2020. If you have these themes, discuss them. The Black characters were token characters. Every Black character in this book was so pigeon-holed into the stereotypical Black archetypes: house cleaners, gangs, single parents. They were treated so poorly yet it’s not confronted even when noticed by the white characters. How are we supposed to be on the main characters’ side when they let things like this slide? And the main thread that runs throughout this theme of racism in the book is “that’s just the way things are, what are you gonna do?”. It was lazy writing and sickening. The only time any justice is done for the Black community in this book is when the white moms step in to save the day as if they are incapable of saving themselves. I also don’t see why there were only white women in the bookclub. In an area as big as Charleston in the 90s you can bet there was a diverse population of people of many races holding successful positions and living in upper class areas so why does it seem like this book is taking place in the height of segregation and no Black people live on that end of town? It made zero sense.

The horror in this book was vivid and chilling and the only reason I bumped this book up to 2 stars. The writing was good and imaginative but the way the plot was set up and the characters portrayed was badly done and the lack of responsibility in the writing when confronting sensitive topics (racism, sexism, classism, sexual assault, pedophilia, murder, abuse) was enraging and frustrating. I’d say if you’re looking for horror/satire there are millions of better books out there to choose from.

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The Book of Magic by Alice Hoffman

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The All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness